The latest Battle of the Century on social media in a never-ending series of them is animation related. Of course, competing social media factions will raise hell over any issue that can be seen under a microscope or picked up by tweezers, and such scraps can go on for days until the next cause celebre comes along to provide fuel for the Culture Wars (by now, a term that deserves capitalization). The latest point of contention is one Lola Bunny, an animated female rabbit soon to be seen in Space Jam 2.

Space Jam was Lola’s original birthplace back in 1996, well before Twitter and a thousand other social media platforms came to be. The sweetly hot bunny was an original member of the Tune Squad, defenders of the Earth against the galactic Monstars in a winner-take-all basketball game. When we first meet Lola, she saunters into the training gym clad in a crop top and basketball short shorts. She wears nothing else for the remainder of her scenes in the film; her Tune Squad uniform has the exact same design.

Lola also has flirtatious green eyes, notable breasts, an hourglass figure, and a saucy way of tossing her ears back. None of this escapes Bugs Bunny’s notice, and even Tweety Bird has to say, “She’s hot!” None of that was by accident; animator Tony Cervone, who worked with the character, admitted that “we kind of pumped her up more in the feminine attributes department.”

She was also to be a romantic interest for Bugs. Let’s face it, the crafty wabbit never had much in the love department. In one classic cartoon he does have a wife, but she looks very much like him with some cosmetic (so to speak) changes. She never appeared again. Bugs also went wild for a transformed witch and a robot, but his Golden Era days were bereft of romance. A comic book character named Honey Bunny came and went, and no one noticed when she did. Lola, however, was an unforgettable bombshell, on a par with Jessica Rabbit and Tex Avery’s Red.

In fact, Space Jam 2 director Malcolm D. Lee found Lola to be too unforgettable even though she had already been toned down over the course of several TV series and videos. According to Lee, Lola had to be desexualized because: “This is 2021. It’s important to reflect the authenticity of strong, capable, female characters.” Apparently, this could be done by removing Lola’s breasts and dressing her in a different coat of paint. Lola now wears longer shorts and a basketball jersey that covers her torso.

I don’t want to give the impression that I even care what Lola looks in the film like or how she is dressed. I am not angry that she began as an athletic sexpot, nor am I taken in by the blather that she was censored by “cancel culture” (also soon to be capitalized). What I do care about is this—I wonder how much of the original film Malcolm D. Lee watched before he reacted to Lola?

It’s been argued that it’s not Lola’s appearance that matters, it’s her effect on the male characters. However, when Lola first appears, she is heedless of the impact she has on Bugs and the other Tune Squad hopefuls. It makes no difference to her; she came to try out for the team. After Bugs calls her a “doll”, she decimates him on the court with skills that leave Michael Jordan making an amazed comment. After leaving Bugs in a twisted heap, Lola tells him, “Don’t ever call me doll.” Later in the film she repeats that line to a Monstar three times her size after dunking over him! If that does not depict one hell of a baller who is strong, capable, and an authentic female—accepted by Lord Michael Jordan as the only female member of the team—what else does she have to do? Lose her boobs and dress like one of the guys, I suppose. But isn’t that a facile solution to a problem that should not even exist?

Readers, at age 65 I have seen and written about enough animated films to account for maybe 50 of those years. OK, maybe not, but I can tell when a director does not understand his characters. I think that Mr. Lee may be worried about something other than what he states, but no matter. What is sad is that this needless controversy between fans that loved the sexy look of Lola the First and those that passionately defend the enlightened sensibilities of Lola the Second had to take place at all.

Therefore, I offer a solution: Let’s make the design of Lola Bunny reflect the average American female as statistically described by the CDC. This hypothetical woman stands 5”3 inches tall and weighs 168 pounds. (Other estimates, to be fair, call for 140-150 pounds.) She wears size 16 clothing and has a 34-35-inch waist. Now let’s have the animators go to work. Space Jam lists Lola at 3 ft. 2 in, but hey, today’s animators can do anything, right? You may argue that Lola, being a young athlete, would have different proportions, but I’m just trying to settle a controversy. If Lola’s appearance is so damn important, let’s just negate that little problem and make her look as much as possible like any other woman. Bing!

You have likely picked up that my solution is tongue-in-cheek, but it is no no less ridiculous than the Lola redesign flap. Now can we all please just watch the movie?